Think you are the man?Read this!

Recently while browsing through an edition of daily nation for a sports brief or a car review, I accidentally and unknowingly stumbled upon an article written with a female voice. I have to make it clear at this point that it was out of interest in literature in general (rather than in the subject matter) that I interested myself in that piece.

The author bemoaned the idea that “they no longer make men like they used to “That the merchandise available today comprised of soft, irresponsible and dishonest “big boys”. She argued that being a man required much more than just owning a pair. However, I noted with interest that she still wished Kenyan men could be sweet, gentle, caring, a good listener and so on, so forth. So, it was in that state of confusion that I consulted (whether I agreed or not did not matter) with a sixty something mzee on the matter. This is some of what he had to say.

1. A man is good at his job. Not his work, not his avocation, not his hobby. Not his career. His job. It doesn't matter what his job is, because if a man doesn't like his job, he gets a new one.
2. A real man fantasizes that buried somewhere deep inside is a Jiujitsu genius.
3. A real man can at least cook an egg, make tea or toast a sandwich and maybe boil rice-occasionally.
4. Areal man probably never has or never will; but deeply believes he can kick somebody’s ass-anybody.
5. A real man never sheds a tear-unless he accidently paints his eyes with red pepper or Arsenal wins the premiership.
6. A real man should not be able to pronounce the names: Mujer, Eduardo or Alejandro-But can spell out Solskjaer, Szczęsny or Even St Etienne Lupopo.
7. A real man does not necessarily hate dancing; it’s just that it can be conveniently avoided.
8. A real man loves the masterpiece of God’s creative genius that’s the human body. He likes the crease of a bent knee, the sight of a bare shoulder. He can sneak a view at an exposed bosom, a well sculptured leg, without being seen…And if he is seen, won’t give a dime.
9. A real man loves having money, the feeling of having lots of it or dreams or having a Lil Wayne-like bunker full of Legal tender.
10. A real man’s handshake makes lesser men cry and women quiver.
11. A real man runs to a fire, not away from it. When he hears a lion roar nearby, he gets excited at being in the company of an equal.
12. A real man can look you up and down and figure some things out. Before you say a word, he makes you. From your suitcase, from your watch, from your posture. A man infers.
13. A real man gets the door. Without thinking.
14. A real man knows how to lose an afternoon. Drinking, playing Video Games, driving aimlessly, shooting pool.
15. A real man can tell you he was wrong. That he did wrong. That he planned to. He can tell you when he is lost. He can apologize, even if sometimes it's just to put an end to the bickering.
16. A man looks out for children. Makes them stand behind him.
17. A man listens, and that's how he argues. He crafts opinions. He can pound the table, raise his voice, grab a collar, take the floor. It's not that he must. It's that he can.
18. A man welcomes the coming of age. It frees him. It allows him to assume the upper hand and teaches him when to step aside!(read  Mugabe,Assad,Gaddafi)
19. A real gets drunk from feeling pain and bored from experiencing peace.
20. At the end of his life, a real man would rather not slowly fade away, he burns out with a bang!